On a Saturday night about a week after his first dinner, George took a 45-minute drive to Riverside, famous home of… well, not much. Except tract housing. Lots and lots of tract housing. His friends Phil and Donna lived in an idyllic cul-de-sac of similar-looking buildings. From space, the area had a sort of fractal quality, meaning that as you zoomed in, the picture kept looking the same: squares within squares within squares within squares. Both commuted into Orange County daily when that 45-minute drive took an hour and a half.

George rang the doorbell and waited a few moments. Donna, a woman with long blonde hair and a large nose, answered. Lacking children, she looked very clean and well kept. She hugged him warmly and said hello.

Phil followed close behind and welcomed George in with a brotherly embrace. Phil was an overweight man of vague, Chinese decent. He’d never left California, only spoke English, and adored Panda Express. He and Phil became friends about a year ago due to the fact they were two of the only Christians at Atomicleen. Phil and Donna were both about thirty.

They sat down for a healthy dinner. Well, healthy servings, at least. While the sun slipped behind the smog, They enjoyed BBQ T-bone steaks, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob.

“We just celebrated our one-year anniversary about a week ago,” Phil said while chewing on beef. Donna kissed him on the cheek.

“As it happens, I’m on a little project on that subject,” George said. He explained about researching his married friends and talked about the dinner with John and Wendy.

Phil scoffed. “Well, that may have worked for John and Wendy, but have you ever had a chance to get to know a girl in a Bible study over six months and then have her decide that she wants to marry you?”

“I think the answer is obvious.”

“Exactly. And you never will, especially after college. Sure, that worked for John and Wendy, but that’s one in a hundred. One in a thousand. If we called that the one true way to get married, 1% of people might be happy, but everyone else would be single, frustrated, and waiting for prince charming to appear before a chorus of angels. Not to mention all the bad marriages that kind of fatalism would produce. Because if you’re looking for the One,” he spoke those last words as though impersonating Darth Vader, “you ignore all the red flags that someone is actually a bad match.”

“Ok, so how did you guys meet?” George asked.

“We were introduced online,” Donna replied quickly.

“Oh?”

“You don’t have to hide it like something shameful,” Phil said. “eHarmony.”

“Oh, really? What was the experience like? Was Donna the first lady you dated on it?”

“Of course not. What do you think this is, a Hollywood movie? We each dated about a dozen people before we met each other.”

“Actually, 21 for me,” Donna said. “Some good, some awful.”

“That’s a lot,” George gawked.

Phil replied. “It may sound like a lot, but it just took about six months. I went out with most of them once, didn’t feel that magic, then never spoke again. That’s part of the online dating thing, and when you step into that arena, you just acknowledge that’s OK.”

“How did you end up on eHarmony?”

“Disgust,” Phil replied with a laugh and a slap on his belly. “I was in my late twenties and realized that I had no outlets to meet women. I squandered college on academics and LAN parties.

“I decided to make a conscious effort at my single’s group. The first time I asked a girl out for coffee, she refused and made it really awkward. Our friendship was never the same. I don’t know if I got a reputation as a predator or something, but that happened two more times. I saw the pattern.”

“See, the singles pastor (who, by the way, was married) always preached that you weren’t supposed to go searching for your mate and that God would bring her to you once you found satisfaction in Him. Sometimes, married speakers would share their testimonies of some mystic realization of only needing God the week before they met their spouse. Right, like they had no desire for marriage after that experience. Like Adam in the garden, right? ‘Oh God, I’m totally satisfied in you and don’t need a wife.’

“No single ever shared a testimony of that kind of satisfaction, even though lots of my friends had great relationships with God! Yet they all felt shame that somehow they were single because they weren’t satisfied in God.”

“Anyways, I eventually gave up on meeting a woman at church went to eHarmony. And the rest…” he reached over and gave Donna a big kiss on the lips. George looked out to their front yard uncomfortably.

After they finished, Donna told her story of a meat market singles group with lurking men. She wanted to get married, but her church didn’t have any good men. “Some friends shared good experiences with online dating, so I decided to try it. But most of the men I met there weren’t better than the ones in my church, until I met Phil. I really believe now that how you meet the person matters a lot less than how you conduct the relationship. We’re taught so much to search for the perfect match that we don’t know how to date that person in an emotionally healthy manner.”

“But shouldn’t we trust God to provide someone for us? Isn’t it a lack of faith to do something like online dating?” George asked.

“Ah, the old lack of faith argument,” Phil laughed. His face tensed, and he looked straight into George’s eyes. “Let’s say that I lose my job. Is it a lack of faith to Google for one? Does mature Christianity look like praying all day long without putting together a résumé? Of course not. Why should we treat marriage any different? That view that God’s going to drop your spouse on a string from heaven simply isn’t Biblical. Think about Jacob, who worked seven years for his wife. And I Corinthians 7 says that if you can’t control yourself, you should get married. That means you intentionally go find someone and marry them. I just followed the Biblical model.”

“You sound like a wolf on the hunt,” George replied. “Donna, what do you say to that?”

Donna paused for a moment. “I’m just glad to have finally met a Christian man who isn’t passive.”

“You’re interested in someone, aren’t you?” Phil interjected. Donna laughed slightly. She’d realized that long before her husband.

“I believe the answer to that question is obvious,” George said once again.

“Well look, if you’re willing to meet with a dozen married couples and compile their advice into a dissertation, just ask her out.”

George drove alone down the 91 with some time to digest the evening’s conversation. When he got home and input his findings into thinking.xls, he found a surprising lack of conclusive data. In fact, the only thing the couples had in common was that they loved their spouses. No matter. He’d be having dinner with Chris and Sarah, soon. He repeated to himself Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.”

Please return next time for the stunning and spectacular conclusion to George’s quest for perfect wisdom! Will this mysterious girl fall in love with him? Will he screw up on their first date? Will they join forces and go to Kathmandu as missionaries?

No! In fact, she won’t even appear in this story, but that’s not why you’re reading it!